In the virtual jungle exist genuine, good, kind hearted diamond guys . Like you, they are online looking for a similarly genuine and sincere other half who is looking for marriage. Sadly however, these poor guys seem to be hidden under a nest of vipers! And it is these vipers who seem to be the only ones who creep into your inbox and cause havoc!
So who are the top 7 deadliest guys the single Muslima commonly comes across online?
1. The Sex Seeker
This has to be the number one gripe I hear everyday. This guy will start off with an innocent profile but the moment you are in contact it becomes clear he’s only after sex. Some guys go about it quite sneakily, asking you for general pictures, then full body pictures etc until they finally ask you for a nude picture and more! He may even try to manipulate you by making you feel like a prude and old fashioned for not wanting to indulge him. Other guys are unbelievably frank about it and inform you upfront that they are looking for a physical relationship. And then there are a select disturbing few who show you what they are after by sending you an unexpected photo of something you really didn’t want or need to see! Of course added to the mix are the married guys who are online for this very purpose!
2. The Narcissist
This guy sees himself as a finished product from his flash car to his often bigoted opinions. He is not open to change or growth unless it is a growth in his income or manhood. As far as he is concerned he is king and you are lucky to have the privilege to talk to him. He will find ways to make you feel inadequate like commenting on your appearance, your weight or even the area where you live! He can be quite sly and manipulative in the way he makes you feel you are not good enough. He thinks everyone should endeavour to be like him and with him. He makes you come to him, he makes little effort to get to know you because you are not important enough to be considered an entity in your own right. It’s all about him. His Needs. His wants.
3. The Visa Seeker
Whilst there are some genuine non resident guys out there who are looking to marry a woman for love and companionship, for every one of those there is a guy who is simply seeking to renew his visa. He is usually a student of some kind or works in a cash in hand job that has no obligation to renew his visa when it ends. He is sharing a bedroom in a flat with 5 of his cousins. He wants to marry you asap. He double checks that you were born here and work here. He will move at the speed of light to get the ball rolling, he will request to meet your family the following weekend and be married by the end of the month (when the visa expires).
4. The Momma’s Boy
Whilst you want a guy who is on good terms with his family and shows a respectful attitude towards the one who gave birth to him, some guys just take it to the extreme. He will make reference to his devotion to his mum in his profile or at least in the first few minutes of talking to him and most of his phrases begin “my mum…”. He continuously quotes the jannat under the feet of your mother hadith as a free pass to demand you do everything his mother says, wants and does. He will outline exactly what he expects your wifely duties to be and bar sex, they are usually the things his mum does for him like pressing his feet or cooking only the things he likes. He wants you to not only live with his mum but take active steps to learn from her and be just like her . He’s often the only son in the family so he’s grown up being waited on hand and foot by women and he expects no different from his wife.
5. The Misogynist
This guy has been deeply hurt by a woman in the past but that’s no excuse for his behaviour. He is angry and he uses terms like “you women + negative generalisation” a lot. He spends an extraordinary amount of energy telling you what he doesn’t like or expect from a woman. He doesn’t make much effort to endear himself to you because you should be endearing yourself to him to prove to him that good women exist but he wouldn’t believe you anyway. This guy needs professional help before he can can truly expect to find a wife. Otherwise he spends his hours chatting to women with the sole purpose of proving them wrong about everything and pointing out their faults!
6. The Fake Photo
This will only come to light when he shows another a real photo of himself or worse still, when you go to meet him and what appears to be his dad turns up. The fake photo is sometimes a model, an actor, a random Google search for “handsome man” or even just himself 30 years ago. When you challenge him as to why the reality and the photo are so different he laughs sheepishly, makes up a some holier than thou tale about people only being into looks or he just admits it’s an old photo as if to say “well duh”. Meanwhile you have to sit through coffee with an even stranger stranger than you bargained for!
7. The Scam Artist
Poor me, my pet crocodile is dying and I have no money to feed my grandmother! Or how about, I’m studying really hard to become a (insert impressive profession here) but I am running out money and my studies will be incomplete and I will not able to make my dead ancestors proud. Or the best one I heard, I am about to go to prison unless I can pay my debt, please will you give me (seemingly small but generous) much so I can be free? Ermmm, how about you sell your laptop, phone and cancel your subscription to this website?
The saddest part of all of this is that these guys are totally ruining it for the good guys online!
I salute the brothers who are genuine, decent and honest in their search for a spouse and who — like the sisters — want nothing more than to find that special someone with whom they can find companionship, ease and love.
It’s because of the bad guys that respectable, decent sisters are leaving matrimonial websites daily having come to the conclusion that there are no good men online! Meanwhile the good guys struggle to surface from beneath the scum that floats on the surface of the virtual sea!